Drowning In Mediae

As a preface to this post, I'd like to inform you all that it has been decided that media as a plural term to describe multiple tools for storing and communicating data / information is just not doing it for me. Therefore, we will introduce the new, somehow more satisfying, plural form - mediae.

Has there ever been this much mediae? I don't think there has been. There are, of course, the conventional forms; TV, noose-papers, trashy magazines, outdoor displays, etc.

Enter internet stage right. Whoosh! Zing! Rhu-ka-puh-zazz! There she is; the best, spankiest media form ever to grace humanity. For a good number of years there it is generally thought of as one single form of media.

Similar to the Behaviouralists, those of us who thought this were proved wrong! Completely wrong! Email is as distinctive a form of media to a networking site as a hand-written letter is to a speech at an industry networking event. Thus the internet can only be described in terms of mediae. All the various little subsets of mediae are mind-bogglingly numerous.

Email(s). Blog. Facebook. LinkedIn. Message forums. News. (So much news.) Last but not least - The Twits. I don't know about anyone else, but I can't keep up with them all. There is too much information that I want to receive, and too many channels that it frequents!!!

Overload!!! Mega-information overload!!!!!!

Shutting.....down.

Public service announcement to OZ-e government - there ain't no need for mandatory censorship over here. The constraints of work firewalls, lack of home internet solution, attention span, and a mere 24 hours in a day are its own kind of censorship.

In other words - don't you dare automatically censor my internet. You'll inevitably fuck up what you're trying to accomplish, and although I ofttimes these days get the feeling of overwhelmededness by the masses and masses of internet media, I reserve the right to be overwhelmed.

And that's my final word on that. I don't approve of government imposed media censorship for the benefit of individuals.

It is interesting to consider the effects of increased access to reams upon reams (or screens upon screens) of information though. Does it actually hinder people to have that much ready access in that they become disinterested in looking for it and are more likely to ignore information that's right in front of them because there's so damn much of it? Are there more cases of analysis paralysis as a result of pervasive mediae? And are people sacrificing doing to get in more media-ing? Where do the waterfalls of information with increasing degrees of pressure carry us?

These are the mysteries.

(Twilight Zone theme plays and screen fades to black)

Now That I'm An Expert On All Things Melbourne..

I am pleased to announce that I know everything that there is to possibly know about Melbourne and the Melburnians. I know what you're thinking, can't believe it took me this long, right?

Now that I am in this exalted position, my duty is clear. I must educate those at a disadvantage not having the insider knowledge that I now possess. I could be selfish and keep it all for myself. But, nay, compassion has overtaken me.

This wisdom I bequeath to you....

Dodgy-looking alleys are where the awesome things are. Unlikely as it sounds, it is all about the alleys. You could wander the main streets of Melbourne for hours and hours and find nothing but office buildings and overpriced things. Yet, if you turn down a grimy-looking alley, you are guaranteed to find one of the best cafes / restaurants / pubs / bars / clubs / graffiti displays in Melbourne. Go figure.

Trains are better than trams. Trams are adorable and quaint in their way. The novelty associated with lurching action of the trams wears off remarkably quickly though. Also, they are slowww. Very, very slowwwwwwwwww. As in 'awmuhgawd am I dead yet' kinda slow. Lastly, crowded trains suck. But crowded trams suck worse. You have a chance on a crowded train of not being jammed in someone's armpit or having someone else stuck in your armpit. On a crowded tram, there is no such chance. (Having said that, please don't anyone else catch my train line during rush hour. It gets enough patronage, seriously.)

First is best, last comes second. No matter which line you're on, the best train carriage to get on at any time of day is the first one. 95% of the time, it's the least crowded. That fact fascinates me. This says to me that the people catching the train are hindered by one or more of three things. A) They are too stupid to realise that the first carriage is the best. B) They are too lazy to take advantage of this fact. ("Oh boo-hoo, I have to walk a whole 2 minutes extra now, and a whole 2 min once I reach my destination." Wimps.) Or C) they surpass even my amazing disorganisational skills such that they do not have the opportunity to reach the first carriage. In any case - all the more standing room/window-seat for me!!

Pushing is for adults. In the CBD especially, it is push or be pushed. Or, the more likely thing of push and be pushed. Spread the pushing around a little. Just don't be a dill and reflexively exclaim "Ooh, sorry!" each time people run into you through no apparent fault of your own. Because that would be rather silly of you. One might think of pushing other human beings around on the street somewhat inconsiderate, however, it is important to note that, there are a lot of people, and they have a strong tendency to get in the way. You will have a better chance of getting off at your train stop, getting to places on time, making it through the pedestrian crossing, and paradoxically enough, not running into people, if you do not shun the shove.

The MX is good value. The free newspaper churned out on a daily basis is very entertaining. It also even manages the occasional actual news item. Every now and again.

That's all for now, travellers and immigrators. My next post in the 'I know everything about Melbourne' series will include useful tips on living in an awesome and affordable 2-bedroom apartment with a walk-in wardrobe (including its own light, several shelves, mirror and vanity table) in a visually beautiful, conveniently located, artistically-inclined and well-provisioned suburb.

Well, probably not.

Damn if it's not ever so much to fun to talk about though.