Why volleyball is better than sex

Volleyball is fantastic. As an activity, it kicks ass over sex. Don't get me wrong, I am not a prude. In fact, I am a card-carrying fan of the feel-goods associated with sexual activities. Nonetheless, I rate volleyball higher, and here's why;

• There are less injuries in volleyball.
• Volleyball is played with the adversaries on the other side of the net.
  
• If there are any injuries sustained during volleyball, it's the fault of you and yours, not those that you're playing against.
• You get more exercise in volleyball. I know, I know, it's not like soccer or Aussie rules where you're running around like a spastic monkey the whole time, but it's definitely more of a cardiovascular workout than the horizontal tango. Last time I checked, sex does not typically involve any amount of running or jumping.
• Volleyball smells less. Human sweat is very stinky though very natural. Human sweat combined with other bodily secretions? Not exactly my top choice for an variety of air freshener.
  
• What little intimacy is involved in volleyball is light and uplifting (rather unlike romantic intimacy).
• The more you play volleyball, the better it gets. The more you have sex, the less imagination goes into it and the less pleasure per play you receive.
  
• Volleyball does not inspire any soul-searching questions such as "Do I really want to be playing this game against that opponent?" or "What annoying series of events is going to be set in motion after this set is finished?"
  
• I am good at volleyball.

None can dispute it; volleyball wins!