Teach This

I've not ever seriously considered it as a full-time gig, but I think that I would be a truly shagawful teacher. Not because, I don't have patience (though it does have it's limits), or because I couldn't teach material (depends on the material and the nature of the thing absorbing the material), but because there are reasons why I would not be the kind of teacher that I would want to have. Some include the fact that I fancy myself something of a comedian and I can be very blunt. (Shock, horror.) For instance, some of you may recall a certain scene of a Simpsons episode where the kiddy school orchestra was having a rehearsal and there was the following dialogue:

Chorus of kids: Lisa li-ikes Nel-son...
Milhouse: [indignantly] She does not!
Chorus of kids: Milhouse li-ikes Li-sa...
Janie: [indignantly] He does not!
Chorus of kids: Janie li-ikes Mil-house...
Music Teacher: Nobody likes Milhouse!

That is the sort of teacher I would be.

Not quite, but pretty damn close.

Of course, that wouldn't stop me if I decided that I wanted to find me a home where the teachers roam. However, they get paid precisely jack-squat (especially in Victoria). Seriously, unexotic dancers get paid more than Victorian teachers do.

Needless to say, it ain't happening for this cookie cutter.